How To End A D/S Relationship As A Slave | A Story About a Rotten “slave”

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Before I get into an explanation of how I personally feel a slave should end a D/S relationship, I am going to talk about how NOT to end a D/S relationship, by telling you why this blog post was inspired.

I spent several years building a relationship with a “slave” who went by the name ” john delco” or slavejohn online. If you have been a follower of Mine for a while, then you definitely have seen all of his devotional tweets, and posts.  It was around 4 or 5 years. Off the clock, I chatted with him about his wife, his sons, his career, his motivation for losing weight and getting healthy. I learned many things about him, and in return I allowed him to learn things about Me. It was a deeper, more personal connection. Or so I thought.

One day not too long ago, I sent him a message. He read it, and then he deleted every single social media platform he had. Not a single explanation, goodbye or word to Me. My first thought was one of concern. I was worried that something bad happened, and that he was in trouble, or suffering in some way. I never in a million years thought that he would just up and delete like that with no good reason. He was not the type to be flaky, rude, cowardly, etc. I was proud to call him Mine, and proud of the training that went into him.

A few days later, I see that he is jerking off all over other Womans twitter pages, spewing his lies and fake submissive talk. ( @lost2p on twitter ) I am embarrassed to ever say he was mine, but I feel these guys NEED to be called out more, because it is NOT okay to treat Women this way. ( Yes, as clients, take their money!! Indulge the fetish, but even still, these guys really need to learn a lesson on treating Women, especially Powerful Women with the respect they deserve) I was SHOCKED. Of course he tried to be sneaky. My first reaction was pure RAGE. I was PISSED. Then after that quickly went away, I just ended up not feeling much for it. I realize that the “D/S” relationship was more about him masturbating and getting off, than really being a submissive slave. Shocker? No. He was a man, only interested in one thing. Yes he paid Me to indulge this fetish and jerk off habit, but we also communicated a lot outside of that. I truly thought he was “different”.

The reason I am even bringing this up, is for the simple fact that I hope other men learn from this. Especially in a D/S dynamic, a man should NEVER treat a Woman with such disrespect. Even in general total vanilla situations. A person should NEVER treat another human being this way. He essentially was just using Me , and deleted as casually and easily as a person would delete a file on the internet. Perhaps he is a sociopath with no empathy or emotion at all, and should be avoided at all costs. Or perhaps he is like many, who are just looking for ways to get off, and want to indulge in a business transaction. That is okay, if you are a client, but really if you build a relationship with a person, it is respectful to at least explain why you feel this isn’t working out, and to not be such a coward to delete everything and try to be sneaky.

Now I am not delusional. I realize that the majority of guys in the D/S scene are not loyal to one person, and love to dabble in work from many Women. My point is that if it goes deeper than just business transactions, you should NEVER behave in the way this person did above. It is not acceptable behavior from a decent human being. The issue is not moving on. Its not about a man paying other people.  The issue is deleting without saying ANYTHING, and leaving Me to wonder WTF happened.

I know that he feels no guilt, shame, or remorse, as against his wants, he did contact Me, and basically was very cold and said eh well if it aint working for Me, Im done. He also went on to kink shame those who are into the humiliation fetish and tell Me what a negative person I am. I would not have even written this blog post if we had a conversation that I deserved.

This has not put me off from maintaining or creating deeper relationships with good slaves. I will be more cautious, but I do realize that rotten people like him exist, but good ones also do as well.

Now on to another point. How should a slave end a D/S relationship if he no longer feels it is a good fit?

Well, I believe that a private conversation should be had between the slave and the Domme. Explain why this will be ending, and respectfully ask to be dismissed. Communication goes a LONG way. Sometimes, actually quite often relationships end. Don’t be a coward and just delete and sneak off to jerk off all over other peoples websites. Be a decent human being and communicate! Remember the year/s that went into the dynamic and pay it the respect it deserves.

Be a decent human being. Talk it out, and respectfully move on.

 

 

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11 comments

  1. Lexie says:

    I knew John Delco. It was a shock when I read what he had done. Goddess had bent over backwards for him. For him to not only just stop, but badmouth a truly wonderful women, who I feel has help many men reach a better life, it is a shame.

    I’ve had my idiotic moments, with goddess, but when I explain what’s happened to me, she welcomes me back. This is not to say that I haven’t received “punishment” for my transgressions, but goddess is truly a wonderful human being to know!

    • hypnotichaylee says:

      I have just come to realize that he is a very damaged, sick man. I truly wish he finds the help he needs, and gets better. I am much better off without him in my Queendom!

  2. Maddox Coocoocruise says:

    I’m so sorry that this happened. Really sucks. But I haven’t ever left after years :p I am totally loyal, and don’t care about other women up here at all.. and I’m not jerking off to everyone on the internet rabidly. Or even talking to them. Even when u occassionally get pissed and kick my ass (because I’m sometimes ann annoying retard).. I feel like i stand in the doorway and hold on to the frame refusing to leave while yelling “nooo.. nooo.. I can’t go.. i won’t go! I need you! please let me stay”. Lol. Because you know what? I love you. Thanks for ever taking time to talk to me. You’ve been a big influence on my life for the better and I hope that you always are. I dont believe in walking out on people. It’s not a submissive cliche when I say that I believe you are amazing, and there is no female better in the world. You are just someone who was born to be worshiped and adored. You have a big following and a life outside of this so you aren’t always accessible. I feel very lucky and Thank my lucky stars that I ever crossed paths with you. You’re a really fascinating creative and awesome woman that is top notch in everything that you do. You deserve online best of everything. I’m so sorry you were hurt. Maybe everyone will do things respectfully going forward. Hope you are having a great day. You deserve it!

  3. Blissbot says:

    I agree with this, especially given the length of the relationship. In this age of social media, virtual vs. physical connection, typed vs. spoken communication, etc., many of us have stopped remembering that there is a living, breathing, feeling person on the other end.

    My own experience has been mixed. My very first hypnodomme relationship ended with an honest exchange as to why I could not continue, and my domme understood. In another situation that was brief and not intimate (I was a consumer/client but indicated I was training towards a stronger connection), I sent an email explaining why I couldn’t continue, and then was ridiculed for a day on Twitter. I’ve also been blocked just because I stopped following a hypnodomme (I got tired of an endless stream of “Someone just bought xxxxx on I Want Clips” – I should have just muted, I guess). It is kind of a mixed bag out there with people but it isn’t one sided. Some dommes can look at their own behavior and improve.

    Given my experience, my rule going forward is that if I have a lengthy relationship, even as just a client, I’m explaining my departure. If it is a short relationship but we’ve interacted on a personal level (I’ve shared some personal info, things that indicate I’m a living, feeling person, sent lots tributes, etc.) then I’m explaining my departure. Anything else is just me being a consumer shopping and I don’t feel I have to explain anything. In those situations, my absence probably wouldn’t even be noticed.

    Thanks for posting your story!

  4. Andy says:

    This is such an illuminating post. As mentioned, it is not just a D/S issue, but an issue of decent human behavior. Worship / submission is one thing, but how about respect? When words are shared of life outside of the fetish world, it is an exchange- with a Goddess, but also with a person. The relationship deepens and expands, becomes more real. It is a gift that matters and should be treated as the gift it is. This is true here, but also in life- and it is good for both parties to face difficult partings openly, be pure and true, and move forward instead of just dropping off. I know from the past just dropping out of a relationship (or being dropped out of one) is bad for the soul. Even if it is painful in the moment, it is always best to be open.

  5. slavefri says:

    Thank You so much for this blog Goddess. The morning it came out on Twitter, i fell terrible because i somehow thought it was me. And the feeling of relief when You told me that i was safe made me realize that i truly care about You.

    i have been a jerk to two other Dommes before i met You mostly because i didn’t want to accept that i was submissive and also because i didn’t know how i should behave as such.

    i also was a jerk to You because i tried to run without explanation and that is mostly why i felt terrible and i still feel i have a long road to travel to get to where i should be.But this blog has teach me a lot about what a D/S relation should be and about how i disrespected other Womens.

    There will be other mistakes along the way, i guess it’s tough to be a sub 🙂 but it’s so much easier when you know you found the right one.

    Thank You again Goddess Haylee.

    • hypnotichaylee says:

      The huge difference here is that this person and I spent YEARS communicating, and developing a relationship. I never once had ill feelings towards you leaving because I knew that you were internally working through something and never meant disrespect towards Me. I also knew that you’d be back when ready 😉

      • slavefri says:

        You are amazing as a Goddess, but even more as a person. You should see me smile! i am so happy right now. i trust You, You are The One True Goddess!

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