Before I get into an explanation of how I personally feel a slave should end a D/S relationship, I am going to talk about how NOT to end a D/S relationship, by telling you why this blog post was inspired.
I spent several years building a relationship with a “slave” who went by the name ” john delco” or slavejohn online. If you have been a follower of Mine for a while, then you definitely have seen all of his devotional tweets, and posts. It was around 4 or 5 years. Off the clock, I chatted with him about his wife, his sons, his career, his motivation for losing weight and getting healthy. I learned many things about him, and in return I allowed him to learn things about Me. It was a deeper, more personal connection. Or so I thought.
One day not too long ago, I sent him a message. He read it, and then he deleted every single social media platform he had. Not a single explanation, goodbye or word to Me. My first thought was one of concern. I was worried that something bad happened, and that he was in trouble, or suffering in some way. I never in a million years thought that he would just up and delete like that with no good reason. He was not the type to be flaky, rude, cowardly, etc. I was proud to call him Mine, and proud of the training that went into him.
A few days later, I see that he is jerking off all over other Womans twitter pages, spewing his lies and fake submissive talk. ( @lost2p on twitter ) I am embarrassed to ever say he was mine, but I feel these guys NEED to be called out more, because it is NOT okay to treat Women this way. ( Yes, as clients, take their money!! Indulge the fetish, but even still, these guys really need to learn a lesson on treating Women, especially Powerful Women with the respect they deserve) I was SHOCKED. Of course he tried to be sneaky. My first reaction was pure RAGE. I was PISSED. Then after that quickly went away, I just ended up not feeling much for it. I realize that the “D/S” relationship was more about him masturbating and getting off, than really being a submissive slave. Shocker? No. He was a man, only interested in one thing. Yes he paid Me to indulge this fetish and jerk off habit, but we also communicated a lot outside of that. I truly thought he was “different”.
The reason I am even bringing this up, is for the simple fact that I hope other men learn from this. Especially in a D/S dynamic, a man should NEVER treat a Woman with such disrespect. Even in general total vanilla situations. A person should NEVER treat another human being this way. He essentially was just using Me , and deleted as casually and easily as a person would delete a file on the internet. Perhaps he is a sociopath with no empathy or emotion at all, and should be avoided at all costs. Or perhaps he is like many, who are just looking for ways to get off, and want to indulge in a business transaction. That is okay, if you are a client, but really if you build a relationship with a person, it is respectful to at least explain why you feel this isn’t working out, and to not be such a coward to delete everything and try to be sneaky.
Now I am not delusional. I realize that the majority of guys in the D/S scene are not loyal to one person, and love to dabble in work from many Women. My point is that if it goes deeper than just business transactions, you should NEVER behave in the way this person did above. It is not acceptable behavior from a decent human being. The issue is not moving on. Its not about a man paying other people. The issue is deleting without saying ANYTHING, and leaving Me to wonder WTF happened.
I know that he feels no guilt, shame, or remorse, as against his wants, he did contact Me, and basically was very cold and said eh well if it aint working for Me, Im done. He also went on to kink shame those who are into the humiliation fetish and tell Me what a negative person I am. I would not have even written this blog post if we had a conversation that I deserved.
This has not put me off from maintaining or creating deeper relationships with good slaves. I will be more cautious, but I do realize that rotten people like him exist, but good ones also do as well.
Now on to another point. How should a slave end a D/S relationship if he no longer feels it is a good fit?
Well, I believe that a private conversation should be had between the slave and the Domme. Explain why this will be ending, and respectfully ask to be dismissed. Communication goes a LONG way. Sometimes, actually quite often relationships end. Don’t be a coward and just delete and sneak off to jerk off all over other peoples websites. Be a decent human being and communicate! Remember the year/s that went into the dynamic and pay it the respect it deserves.
Be a decent human being. Talk it out, and respectfully move on.